My Handkerchief...

I am strong.
My body and my mind have proved resilient over these years.
We all are
Even when we don't want to be.
Over the years my body, my presence, my life
Has experienced Joys unfathomable.. unimaginable..
Joys that are not always fleeting but constant and woven into my identity.
Love, Friendship, Motherhood, Art.

I love the smile on a human body.
What is a smile anyway other than an organic reaction to our souls.
A smile is recognition, overflowing pleasure, vulnerable.
Smiles are an invitation,
Like an open palm.
"I see you.  You touched me."
Human

We forget about ourselves as we live our lives.
Everyday we get up.
We eat and drink.  We share.
Talking, Driving, Cooking, Deep in thought. Sometimes living in Auto-mode.

Our hearts pump the blood through our veins.
Lungs divide the oxygen from the waste.
We get cut but our skin will heal.
We fall but get back up.
We laugh, sometimes until we pee.

But it's there.. in our pockets or in our purses
Our Handkerchiefs.

In the morning when we anticipate a full day.
When we meet life head on
We grab our tools.
Everything necessary to be a strong, capable Life.
But we also grab our hankie
because we know..
Despite our strength, sometimes even alongside our happiness
We weep.

Without our consent something happens to our steel
And the tears fall from our eyes, usually silently and unacknowledged.
To be dabbed up quickly with our handkerchiefs.
Dab the eyes, dab the nose, sniff...
Raise your head and put the cloth back in your pocket.
Cary on
Strong.
Smile.

Sometimes, not often, I look at my handkerchief in my hand.
I can see my fingers through the delicate fabric but
It has lasted all these years... like me.
Like my body and my soul.
It has been a part of
So much overflowing emotion.

If I allow myself to think about it ...  but I never do...
If I allow myself to think about everything I have
Wrung through that Handkerchief over the years
I have to pause.
I have to gently, lovingly smile and be thankful for this life.

I am strong and I can do anything
But I know there are tears to come.
All I can do is prepare for them with
This Handkerchief.

Sometimes I hold it to my lips
And kiss it
As I would kiss my cross
When in prayer.